“Decisions to decisions are made..“

I think I’m getting lame. I’m joking less and less, I’m blogging less and less and most worrying of all, I’m not wasting as much time doing useless things. Arghh!! I don’t feel as cool as I once did.

This is bad.

Coolness is very important. It’s so important that if I could choose between 10-tonnes of gold and coolness, I’d pick coolness. Life without coolness is like life without salt. Salt, ladies and gentlemen, is very important. Like if it weren’t for salt, everything that we eat will be tasteless. Hmmpfh~

Thus, in order to re-elevate my coolness I have come up with a masterpiece! My 29-point plan!

The ‘Cool‘ Action Plan v1.0 :-

1. I shall only eat ice cubes
2. Get certified by The Mafia
3. I shall only drink Coca-Cola (stirred but not shaken)
4. Visit Colombia
5. I must get myself a pet snake (the poisonous the better)
6. Wear shades all day and night long
7. Learn Russian
8. Walk on water
9. Sit under a tree
10. Origami
11. Maximum 3 hour of sleep per day
12. Perfect the art of mumbling
13. I’ll only laugh at my own jokes
14. Stop sweating forever
15. Play ping pong
16. Coldplay
17. Swear all the time
18. Wrestle a crocodile
19. Always come fashionably late
20. Drive furiously
21. Pick a fight with that @#%&! cashier
22. I will only write in black
23. I shall never use an umbrella
24. Sandwiches are not food
25. Unicycle
26. I will keep a straight-face no matter what
27. Pay everything using $5 bills
28. Keep a box of firecrackers in the trunk
29. Call me ‘H’. Just ‘H’.

If I’m not cool, does that mean I’m hot?

“And not fought~“