I was in a lecture the other day and all that I could think of was “15 more minutes.. 13 more minutes.. 10 more minutes..”. I was consciously counting down the time while desperately trying to look interested in what was going on. It was maths.

Lecturer: This is the last slide.

Me: *Speaking to self* Wowowewa!!!

5 slides later..

Me: *Speaking to self* This is one hell of a “last” slide.

A few more “last” slides later..

Lecturer: We’ll cover the rest next class.

Majority of class (Me included): Last?!!

Now, for a lesson in English vocabulary. Last- ladies and gentlemen, is defined as the point in time at which something ends. Ends!

My point- this just goes to show how some lecturers just don’t understand English. Hahaha..

“So move along~“

“Singing..“

People say it’s okay to breakdown. You know, do things that one does not normally do. I guess what they mean by ‘breakdown’ is to cry. Cry? What’s that? Well, it is the secretion of water by certain ducts located in the eyes. Normally, crying is caused by irritants in the eye or when one experiences an emotionally moving event.

Okay, enough rambling. Hello guys. How have you been? Hehe..

Hmm.. Judging from the looks of it, I’ve not been updating this blog for quite some time. Hahaha.. Okay, okay. Yes, I admit it. I’ve not posted anything in ages. Nothing. Simply nothing for days and days and days. Weeks of silence. Months of inactivity. Some of you must be wondering- “What the hell happened?” or “Where did it all went?”.

Simply put, I had a breakdown. The crazy urge to type away and write those fantastically nonsensical stories disappeared. Not totally but just enough. Plus not mentioning, my marvelously awesome timetable of non-stop activities. Ladies and gentlemen, it was over kill.

Until next time, I shall be back.

“Here we go again~“

It is an indescribable craziness. A craziness that cannot be put into words. Nor can it be captured by pictures. However, all of us has experienced it- again and again. It is a seasonal craziness that comes around ever so often. Try as we might, it is an unavoidable craziness. It haunts us and shapes our lives.

Obviously, I’m mumbling and you haven’t the slightest clue as to what ‘indescribable craziness’ I’m talking about. Love? Hahaha.. Heaven’s no. The ‘indescribable craziness’ that I’m referring to here is the examinations.

Huh? Exams? Arghh!! Nooooo… Neverrrr… Not again!! Arghhh!! Noooo… Arghhh!! *slaps face*

Well, yes. Exams cause lots and lots of indescribable craziness. Examples include killing rampages, eating disorders, property damage and sleeping disorders. Not to mention speeding tickets.

Statistical analysis of the Earth’s entire population shows that almost everyone loathes the exams. Almost because, rather sadly, geeks and nerds do exist.

Personally, I’m 50-50. Sometimes I like it and sometimes I don’t. But most of the time I’m just too confused. I’m like “Why oh why did I take this subject?” or “Which chapter/lecture is this frommmm??!!” or “Numbers.. S**TT!!” or worse “…..”.

I guess the combination of the 5 ‘C’s is really deadly.

1. the Cold, cold hall
2. the Cold unforgiving paper
3. the Cold silence
4. the Cold blank stares
5. the Cold paralyzing emptiness in my head

The only warmth (according to my friends and countless other souls) is the hand-dryer in the toilet. Accursed exams!

Yet, even in that coldest of colds all is not lost. At least during this semesters’ exam I managed to catch up on some TV. Analog clocks rule! Best show ever, two thumbs up.

“It’s gonna be alright~“

“I guess it’s time I run..“

Another month have passed and what do you know- surprise surprise! Total and complete nothingness again!! I said there shall be no more excuses, they were. I said I would be update regularly, I didn’t. Well, I guess this either makes me a liar or I’m dead. A liar because I said/wrote all those things in my last post and didn’t do anything or dead because dead people can’t blog.

Personally, I prefer “I’m spending too much time on Facebook”. I don’t study. I don’t exercise. I don’t eat. I don’t sleep. I don’t socialise. I don’t watch TV. I don’t listen to music. And sadly- I also don’t blog regularly. All I do is go on Facebook. The damn thing!

Facebook, if you haven’t already heard is a highly informative website which contains a lot of useful information (like recipes, the cure for cancer etc.) that helps to make the World a better place. An undisclosed source even went as far as revealing that by the year 2030, Facebook will generate enough electricity to reverse global warming.

Its like every time a user does something on Facebook, a light bulb somewhere turns on. Which also explains why it’s so addictive. You login, you save the world. You comment, the world is saved. You take a quiz, it saves the world. And did I already mention that Facebook saves millions of lives everyday? No? Well, it does I tell you!

See? Who in their right minds would not want to Facebook? You?

Safe Facebook-ing people~

“Far, far away~“

After a month of total and complete nothingness, I’ve returned.

Apparently, besides that blind fellow in Turkey, people such as my future mother-in-law(s), enemies and “H”-wannabes, do- from time to time check my blog.

Hello guys!! I dedicate this post to you. The people who never stopped clicking although you know you’ll only find my outdated post. Hehe..

I as a certified procrastinator (Level 400), wish to apologise to all those whose lives have been affected by the disruption of this blog. It seemed like it was only yesterday that I last blogged. My bad~

There shall be no more excuses.

I guess I was in denial. Denial is when you refuse to accept things for what it is. Denial, ladies and gentlemen, is not good. It can lead to unwanted pregnancies, shopping sprees and moon-walking to lectures.

And in my case, total and complete nothingness. I thought that my sense of humour was dead. To me, life without humour would be a never-ending math lecture.

I hate mathematics!

Hmm.. Since I’m on the topic of denial, I’d like to state that age is not just a number. It’s a physical condition! So to the birthday celebrants who refuse to accept the fact that they’re getting older, well you are. Deny that!

“You know that I could use somebody..“

“This is how these things go~“

People are happy for all sorts of reasons. Great reasons, good reasons, dumb reasons and even bad reasons. It seems that one can get happy from just any sort of reasoning.

One of the all-time favourite reasons is food. Just about 9.83 of the 10 people I tortured interviewed mentioned food as a possible reason for feeling happy. Food, if you don’t know, is any substance that can be consumed by living organisms (like us) in order to sustain life. Unlike plants, we need to eat.

Fact: Humans do not photosynthesize.

So how does food relate to happiness?

Well, eating makes people full. A full tummy means that you’re not hungry. When a person is not hungry, he/she is far less cranky/moody/touchy. Thus, giving the impression of being happy. That is, full people are generally happy people.

However, not all types of food make people happy.

Researchers call food which makes people happy as comfort food. In this regard, different people have different taste. Women generally tend to prefer sweet foods: chocolates, cakes, ice cream etc etc. While men on the other hand would eat just about anything as long as it tastes good.

Personally, I find this fact- that certain food makes people happy, nonsensical. It’s pure and utter bullshit that food-sellers make so that people buy what they are selling. It’s marketing at its best. Come on, Happy Meal? Seriously people~

On a totally unrelated note, I need to stop cursing. I think it’s the crippling workload. All work and no play makes for a stress-filled and boring existence. Therefore, to compensate for it I curse. I’m officially undergoing a self-enforced anger management course. That’s no cursing, swearing or death-wishing people from me.

Smile Hafiz, just keep smiling. Anger is useless.

Come to think of it, some people don’t even need a reason to be happy. I’m like that. Hoho..

Til my next post, don’t be useless.

“Peace~~”

“A feeling is so much stronger than a thought..“

I am hopeless. You give me a chance and I’ll ruin it. I’ll totally screw it into a thousand pieces. A thousand hopeless pieces. Up to the point that it’s useless for you to hope in me.

I know I’ll regret this and yet I am doing nothing. Nothing at all.

I think I’ll get away with it but actually I won’t. I realise it.

The panic starts and the worry grows.

Why am I doing nothing?

Oh well- good morning, good afternoon and good night people~

“Decisions to decisions are made..“

I think I’m getting lame. I’m joking less and less, I’m blogging less and less and most worrying of all, I’m not wasting as much time doing useless things. Arghh!! I don’t feel as cool as I once did.

This is bad.

Coolness is very important. It’s so important that if I could choose between 10-tonnes of gold and coolness, I’d pick coolness. Life without coolness is like life without salt. Salt, ladies and gentlemen, is very important. Like if it weren’t for salt, everything that we eat will be tasteless. Hmmpfh~

Thus, in order to re-elevate my coolness I have come up with a masterpiece! My 29-point plan!

The ‘Cool‘ Action Plan v1.0 :-

1. I shall only eat ice cubes
2. Get certified by The Mafia
3. I shall only drink Coca-Cola (stirred but not shaken)
4. Visit Colombia
5. I must get myself a pet snake (the poisonous the better)
6. Wear shades all day and night long
7. Learn Russian
8. Walk on water
9. Sit under a tree
10. Origami
11. Maximum 3 hour of sleep per day
12. Perfect the art of mumbling
13. I’ll only laugh at my own jokes
14. Stop sweating forever
15. Play ping pong
16. Coldplay
17. Swear all the time
18. Wrestle a crocodile
19. Always come fashionably late
20. Drive furiously
21. Pick a fight with that @#%&! cashier
22. I will only write in black
23. I shall never use an umbrella
24. Sandwiches are not food
25. Unicycle
26. I will keep a straight-face no matter what
27. Pay everything using $5 bills
28. Keep a box of firecrackers in the trunk
29. Call me ‘H’. Just ‘H’.

If I’m not cool, does that mean I’m hot?

“And not fought~“